On Menstruation
Let’s talk about menstruation.
What was your first bleed like? Was it a positive experience? Were you prepared for it? Were you scared, ashamed, mortified?
My first period came when I was 10. I was on a field trip to Makoshika State Park, and I was mortified. I didn’t tell anyone. Later that week my mom called me downstairs to the laundry room to point to a pair of undies and ask what was going on, and I was again mortified. My friend was over and I was just sure she was going to hear what we were talking about. I don’t remember what my mom said. I don’t remember if she gave me pads or where we went from there. I just remember I didn’t want to talk about it. I felt shame.
I don’t know if it’s because I was so afraid to talk about it then, but I really want to talk about menstruation now. I feel that our culture has placed so much shame on it, and we need to shed light on it to bring it out of the shadows. I’m grateful for many authors* and leaders talking about it more, and I hope this trend continues.
Our blood is not dirty. It is not filthy. It is not shameful. The Red Tent of Biblical lore was not in fact a place where the “unclean” were sent, as I learned it—it was a place where women bled together, shared stories, and taught one another what it was to be a Woman. (Pick up the novel The Red Tent for an incredible read!)
We are cyclical beings in a patriarchal society, which expects us to show up exactly the same every day of every month. But we do not work that way. We work in a 28(ish) day cycle, and we show up differently in each phase.
We are accused of “PMS-ing” or being bitchy when we have a hormonal shift that turns us inward when we feel less accommodating to others. This is fine. This is good. This is not something to be ashamed of or medicated away, but something to embrace and plan around.
When we are mid-cycle and fertile, we are magnetic and energetic! This is the full moon energy that many of us wish we could embrace and live most of the time. But we aren’t meant to live here most of the time, just as we don’t expect the moon to be full most of the month. We need our downtime, we need the dark moon.
The menstrual cycle is a full cycle. Though we commonly call our bleed the cycle, we are constantly in the cycle; bleeding is just 5-7 days of it. There is power in embracing our cycle and the magic of each phase.
Here is a list of some of the resources that have helped me navigate my relationship with menstruation. Let’s keep this conversation going and continue to shed light on it!
Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom by Christiane Northrup
Love Your Lady Landscape by Lisa Lister
Do Less by Kate Northrup
(Image by DO MATO Design)